I am so out of the loop of xanga, don't even really know why I write on here the few times that I do, I will blame it on boredom tonight. I was looking at my last few post and I realized I only write when my life takes a new turn it is like a twisted outline of my life. I guess I am not that appalled at it since I continue to do so.. so here is my outline.

Josh and I broke up for good a couple of months ago, Zaiden and I have moved into our own apartment( still on campus). I am working full time in a commission position at JCPenney's, not doing to bad, I am also going to Wright State full time, trying to graduate as soon as possible, I'm not really a school person, I don't like the no dialog format or something at least that is what I tell myself. And of course I play mommy. Zaiden has started day care and he absolutely hates it, and I think he resents me for it, not that I can really blame him as an 'adult' I wouldn't want to be dropped into a room full of strange smelling children with new giants roaming around pretending to be my mother. He can now take a few steps but I think he plans on digressing out of anger for me so I have to carry him everywhere.  My classes are alot harder this quarter than expected so I really hope that I can keep up my g.p.a on top of everything else going on.

    So I don't really have the time to go out much anymore but the last time I went out I was told of how young I looked and isn't it a school night for you? I didn't get upset, I just kind of smirked. To think wow, when someone looks at me they see a high school student, is that good or bad does that mean that my face doesn't show what i go through or have gone through or is that just a reminder of how young I am trying to balance a life of a 40 something year old. The guy who said that must of been in his early 30's, he worked part time at a gas station, he probably lives with his parents, has a GED and plays video games the majority of the time he isn't hitting a bowl. Me the 'high school looking kid' lol is running between my job checking on my kid during my lunch break, to getting to class on time after dropping off a furious kid at daycare doing homework when he goes to sleep at night and waking up at 7 am to make sure my son gets his breakfast. So when he said that I just smiled and said ya I'm only 20 finished paying for my cigarettes before I have to pay extra for the babysitter. Who would have thought

Been awhile hasn't it? Life is everchanging for me, in a good way I guess though. Josh and I are soon going to celebrate our 2 year anniversary, Zaiden is going to be 7 months in a couple of weeks, he has mastered crawling and is now working on standing. I moved on campus to go to school full time and I quit my job. Im nervous to see what is going to happen in the next two years, as Im not exactly sure when I am going to finish school. I also change my mind every other day as to what I want to do with my life. Some days I want to be a lobbyist, other days I want to go to law school, then maybe I should join the military...or maybe I should be a stay at home mom they all seem so different but there is something pulling me to all of them.

        wierd

HE IS HERE!!

Zaiden Allen Mays born to Joshua Taylor and Laura Mays on March 21,2007 at 11:07am. Weighing 7lbs 7oz and 22" long.

Wow he will be 2 weeks tomorrow and everything seems to be going so fast! Just thought i would update...

 So as of today if the baby is born he would be consided full term! How exciting! The nursery is finally put together and Josh and I are excited! All of this still doesn't seem real we are both very nervous about the first few weeks with a newborn. The neatest thing is that everyone has been so nice and supportive. School is coming to an end this next week and this is going to be my last week at work until a couple weeks after i give birth. I am only taking one class next quarter and it seems impossible to find anyone who can babysit for an hour twice a week, this one hour class is going to turn into a 4 hour thing by the time i take the kid to the babysitter, drive to sinclair, pick up the kid and drive home........(sigh)  I guess it will all be worth it 

P.S. Some of my mothers friends are being kind enough to through me a little baby shower so if anyone wants to come let me know, everyone is welcome! O it is a week from today by the way

Okay this is the little ticker thing that is actually accurate date, they are so cute.....click on the second link.

<a href="http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/"><img src="http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/p/dev090prs__.png" alt="pregnancy calendar" border="0" /></a>